First Couple of Days in Istanbul...Bluer Than the BLue Mosque!!

I had high expectations about my trip to Istanbul....But things did not go all than hunky dory, sad to say.....the first couple of days were tinged with "Disaster" written all over it.

It sort of started when I finally arrived in the right gate at the right time in the early hours of the day in Charles de Gaulle airport. I am not one that functions very well without my breakfast, as all who have lived with me will agree upon.

So, sweaty, hot, and stressed, having managed the rig ma roll of getting to the airport on the public system, at around 8am, I decide I needed fuel.

On the plane, on route to Zurich, I laid back on the last seat of the plane (hate that, cos it is next to the loo) and I catch a glimpse of the purser with MY travel card on his hand, and waving it about! He turned about 6 seats before me, to go back, and in my panic to draw his attention, I press the light button thinking it was the CALL button, so naturally he and every other flight attendant ignores me!!

By the time I realise my mistake, and press CALL (about 20 times) he comes over, as we are reversing. I said WHAT did you do with my card?? I must have left it at the cafe, by mistake.... He told me that he had given it to ground staff and there was no chance of getting it now....

I do not normally swear. I did then.

Trouble was, that it did not have to have a pin number, and anyone can use it. I do not know why the pin was never required for transactions, and that is another little bone to bear with my bank, but it did not.

No amount of beautiful scenery or small chat with the person next to me on board would cure my nerves. I read from cover to cover the Travel Card pamphlet, and luckily I had the extra card on me 'in case of emergencies' so it sort of made me feel better. They had a Blooper film from somewhere in Europe sort of like funniest home videos, and I noticed I laughed a little hysterically, compared to those around me....

I eventually got to Istanbul and reported the card missing and if the ground staff had it (which the purser assured me they did) I thought they should destroy it.

Ok, so after ENDLESS calls to the National Bank in NZ, and well into my second day in Istanbul, with absolutely NO joy from them to solve my problem, because my extra card kept on being declined, I was up the Bosphorus without a paddle.

I remembered I had a card from Chile with a little emergency money in it. I tried it and IT WORKED! But only enough for food and water, and I thought, ok, something else, I know!!! A TURKISH BATH!! AND A MASSAGE to calm myself....

So I did.

BUT one little detail I forgot.... I have sensitive skin. They SERIOUSLY rub you down, as the layers of grey skin peel off you and they turn you over like a trussed turkey (ha ha) on a marble slab, with a force that only masochists would enjoy, I was almost to the point of crying.

Body covered in WELTS later, I hobble back to my hotel....Could not believe my eyes. RED, ANGRY welts, appeared like magic as I turned in front of the mirror. OMG. Could it get worse? YES.

Needed lunch. Dropped key at reception, as is the requirement. With Ramazan, my friendly receptionist.

Came back, asked for keys. Keys not anywhere to be found. Ramazan blames me. He said I did not drop them off. I had. He said no, I had not. Could I please retrace my steps of that afternoon to find the keys?? I did. They were no where to be found. I went to my room and cried.

Then I rang Alastair Hercus. My ex husband who fixes things. One very good lesson to anyone out there, who is divorced, and has had a good man, is NEVER get on the wrong side of your ex husband, because he will come to your rescue like a knight in shining armour!!

So, after a blubbery, snotty cry on the phone to Alastair, explaining my dilemma, he says the magic words.... "Dont, worry, go to bed, I will see what I can do, I will fix it, and ring you from the bank in the morning..''

Next morning am awakened by a phone call, from Alastair and the National Bank. I am worked up by this stage. On high alert.

It is 'Lisa' a high up from the National Bank. And Alastair is next to her. All of a sudden a huge rage comes from me to Lisa, who represents the 4 National Bank people I have dealt with in the past 48 hours who have been truly useless. Ok, it is 7 am my time, and maybe, just maybe I had not woken up properly....

Before she has a chance to say Hello, Daphne, I am Lisa, here to Help.... I say something, that goes like this.....

"Lisa, have you any IDEA, of the HELL I have been under over the last 48 hours?"

(havent told you the rest of the hell, will get to that later)

Then I lose the plot. I say,

Lisa, IF you have a MASSIVE headache right now, it is because I am POKING NEEDLES into my voodoo doll which I have made to represent every HELPER, NOT, of the National Bank....who has given me false hopes of EVER obtaining the HARD earned money that I put into the travel card, which I was assured was fool proof...AND my Indian bank manager Deepak (his name was actually Rohan, but I was too het up to remember that little fact, so Deepak seemed appropriate)

Told me I had would have no problems and that it was going to be ok AND IT HASNT LISA, AND YOUR HEADACHE IS NOT GOING TO GET ANY BETTER!

So having got that off my chest I was feeling ok, trouble was, I dont think Lisa expected that little tirade, and the line seemed to go silent.

Afterwards, Alastair tells, me at that stage, he knew I had said 'something' I should not have, by the look in her face...

To cut a long story short, I get the ok, an extended overdraft, and assurances from top dog Lisa, that I would be back in the money, honey!

Alastair tells me that when we hung up, Lisa, (God Bless Her) said to Alastair, " I think I need a drink".... I have an acute feeling that she would have rocked up for drinks that Friday night, to say to her colleagues, " You have no idea of the looney I have had to deal with tonight!"

Tell you about things tomorrow..... I went and got money out, and the first things I bought was a little box of Im Sorry turkish delight for Lisa, for when I meet her with my tail between my legs, and a nice little gift for Alastair, who luckily is still wanting to help his ex wife!!!